


Like One of Your French Girls

by jibrailis



Category: Haikyuu!!
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2014-10-22
Updated: 2014-10-22
Packaged: 2018-02-22 04:01:43
Rating: Explicit
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,054
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/2493659
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/jibrailis/pseuds/jibrailis
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>"I, Oikawa Tooru, captain of the Aobajousai volleyball team and all-around specimen of charm and talent, am completely and 100% a virgin."</p>
            </blockquote>





	Like One of Your French Girls

Iwaizumi is as weak as the next person to a pretty face and overtly promiscuous behaviour, which is how he loses his virginity to a setter from Takeokadai High during training camp. He didn't really mean for it to happen, but it's nice that it did. He has no regrets anyway, and even though it was never anything more than a brief hormonally fueled fling, at least he can cross one item off his to-do list.

Oikawa is snooping through his drawers one afternoon, some months later, when he says, "Iwa-chan, why is there a phone number on a piece of paper in your underwear drawer?"

"Huh?" Iwaizumi looks up from his homework. He has no idea why Oikawa is hanging out at his house after practice, but he's stopped trying to bar Oikawa entrance because 1) his sisters have a huge crush on him, those morons and 2) Oikawa will just make his life even more miserable if he refuses. 

"This phone number," Oikawa says, sing-song. "It's almost as if it's from a lovey-dovey encounter."

"Oh that," Iwaizumi grunts. "That's just from training camp in the spring."

"Training camp…" Oikawa echoes. "Someone gave you their number during training camp…" Iwaizumi braces himself for impact. "Oh my god, Iwa-chan!" Oikawa starts grinning. "Did you have a torrid love affair during training camp? Did you meet someone's eyes across a crowded room, fall into their arms, and share sweet sweet kisses?"

"It was a lot more than that," Iwaizumi mutters. "Now can you be quiet? I want to finish this math homework sometime this century."

But he's just opened the box full of snakes, has only begun to plumb the very, very deep depths of Oikawa's capacity for obnoxiousness. Oikawa comes around the desk and fixes him with his stare, the stare that sends girls swooning into their skirts. Iwaizumi is not moved.

"Are you telling me," Oikawa says slowly, "that you _had sex_ at training camp?"

Iwaizumi looks up at the ceiling. "Yeah," he says. "I guess you could summarize it as that."

"Iwa-chan, why didn't you tell me?" Oikawa exclaims. "Don't you remember that time we made a blood brother pact when we were kids to tell each other everything and for always so that we would never keep secrets from each other?"

'Uh, no, I'm pretty sure that didn't happen," Iwaizumi says. "As if I would ever share blood with an asshole like you."

"You were supposed to tell me when you get deflowered for the first time!" Oikawa cries. "How could you keep something like this from me?"

"Will you shut up already! You're giving me a headache!"

"My precious Iwa-chan losing his innocence right under my very nose! Nothing is ever going to be the same again!"

"Losing my innocence, what the fuck?" Iwaizumi knows that getting back to his homework is a lost cause. "It was just a blowjob, no big deal. He was willing, I was horny — don't tell me you've never just given into the urge. You have a million fangirls."

Oikawa shakes his head. "Nope."

"What?"

"I've never."

"Oh come on, as if I'm supposed to believe that," Iwaizumi says. He's seen the way Oikawa flirts with both boys and girls, draping his body over theirs and murmuring quiet nothings into their ears. Slut is practically his middle name.

Oikawa strikes a pose. His points his finger straight up at the ceiling like he's Aristotle and pronounces, "I, Oikawa Tooru, captain of the Aobajousai volleyball team and all-around specimen of charm and talent, am completely and 100% a virgin."

"What the hell," Iwaizumi says. 

Oikawa runs a hand down his body. "I am as pure and innocent as untouched snow. No man or woman has ever claimed me, has ever taken me to the heights of indescribable pleasure where thoughts and words become second only to action and--"

Iwaizumi throws a book at his face.

:::

"No, so seriously, what was it like?" Oikawa asks the next day, following Iwaizumi home from school. 

"What?" Iwaizumi asks. "Ugh, Asskawa, do you have to walk so _close_ to me?" He shoves Oikawa a more manageable two feet from him.

"Sex, obviously!"

"Oh my god, shut up, there are old people on this street," Iwaizumi says.

Oikawa obviously doesn't care — probably loves that everyone's attention is on him, the prima donna. "Now that you've crossed the ocean of ecstasy--"

" _Will you stop calling it that, you freak?_ "

"--now that you've crossed the ocean of ecstasy," Oikawa says even more loudly, "you're duty-bound to share all the details and impart some wisdom among us lesser folk. Come on, Iwa-chan. Do it for the team."

"The team doesn't need to know the details of my sex life," Iwaizumi says, "and neither do you." But Oikawa keeps on smiling at him, and Iwaizumi knows there's not that many ways this can end so he rolls his eyes and says, "Fine, what is it you're so curious about?"

"What's his name?"

"Ryuuichi," Iwaizumi replies.

"What school does he go to?"

"I don't remember," Iwaizumi lies, mostly because Oikawa is really good at stalking people on Facebook. 

"Ugh, you're the worst," Oikawa says. "What does he look like?"

"I dunno. A little shorter than me, dark hair, nice ears."

"Nice _ears_?" Oikawa says. "Why would you say something as silly as that?"

Iwaizumi shrugs. He remembers biting Ryuuichi's ears while being really turned on.

"Okay, whatever," Oikawa says. "We already know you're a freak and your sexual habits are probably disgusting."

"Then why do you want to know so much?" Iwaizumi asks pointedly. "And you're probably even more disgusting, Trashikawa. I don't even want to know what kind of porn you probably look at."

"Excuse me, my porn is all high-quality with excellently lit shots," Oikawa says. "Also, I'm your captain and best friend. It's my job to know everything about you."

"Gross."

"You're gross."

"Your face is gross," Iwaizumi says. He rolls his shoulders, spying his house in the distance. Time to cut this conversation short. "It was just sex. It didn't take very long, we were both kind of new at it, it was nothing to write home about, okay?" He feels quietly embarrassed all of a sudden. Why is he sharing these personal details with this jerk? "You'll know what it's like when you get around to it. I don't know, go call one of your fans."

Oikawa furrows his brow as they reach Iwaizumi's doorstep. "Wait, are you not going to let me in?"

"Go _home_. Don't you have to babysit your nephew this afternoon?"

"Well, yeah," Oikawa says. "But wait!" Just as Iwaizumi is about to close the door on him. "This Ryuuichi guy, what position does he play?"

"Setter," Iwaizumi admits.

"Hmm," Oikawa says. "Okay. See you later, Iwa-chan."

:::

Oikawa drops it for a while. Things go back to normal, more or less, and Iwaizumi is lured into a false sense of security — which he should have known and guarded against because history indicates Oikawa's memory is wire-sharp and he never forgets a thing. It's a large part of what makes him such an intuitive captain because he always remembers little details about his teammates, like how they like their balls set or which hand they favour when spiking or even what the smallest details of their expressions indicate about their moods.

But for a while, Iwaizumi forgets. During the next few weeks he goes to school, goes to practice, spikes some balls, attends one practice match (they win), and in general tries to keep Oikawa from getting punched in the face and/or working himself to death. As usual there's more than one night when he drags his stupid best friend out of the gym while Oikawa tries to kick him in the shins, saying, "It's all right if I stay another hour to practice, Iwa-chan" while Iwaizumi hisses, "It's three in the goddamn morning, get some sleep."

He gets a text one morning, and when he looks down he sees it's Ryuuichi from training camp. `hey it's ryuuichi, how r u doing?`

Iwaizumi is surprised, but he texts back. `hey i'm good. u?`

`not bad. thinking about u today. is that too weird?`

`no. i thought about u today too` Iwaizumi texts back.

`haha we had a good time at camp, rite?`

`yeah` Iwaizumi texts back, because they did and he's not going to lie about it. `well if we see each other again let's hang out`

`ok!`

He puts his phone away just in time to see Oikawa walk by with a group of adoring girls. Ugh, Iwaizumi thinks reflexively, but it doesn't appear as if Oikawa has noticed him standing nearby, which gives Iwaizumi the rare opportunity to really study his friend. Usually when he's looking at Oikawa, Oikawa looks right back, so he takes the chance now and has to admit that it's really kind of strange he's the first one between them to lose their virginity.

Oikawa's always been the pretty one, the rambunctious one, the one with the million dollar smile. He's tall and athletic with a great body, good grades, good family, and even if his personality is something that has crawled out of the gutter, Iwaizumi can admit that he sees the attraction. If he had no other idea what Oikawa was really like, he too might be drawn by the shadow of Oikawa's hips underneath his track pants, the shift of his shoulders beneath his team jacket. And of course he's seen Oikawa on the court, a first-hand witness to his deft grace and the monstrous power of his serve. He's the best captain Seijou has ever had, and Iwaizumi knows without a doubt that he's going to go on after graduation to do great things.

He stops that train of thought right there, but it's too late. He's already feeling itchy inside.

That itch makes him fish his phone out of his pocket again. `hey do u have skype?` he texts.

Oikawa finally notices him and bounds over. "Iwa-chan!" he says brightly. "Who's that you're texting?"

"None of your business."

"No, I wanna see! Let me see!" Oikawa flails at him, making Iwaizumi smack him in the shoulder and when that doesn't work, he's forced to grab Oikawa in a headlock and wrestle him into submission. Oikawa's fanclub watches them from a distance, horrified and entertained at the same time, while Oikawa goes, "No, not the hair, Iwa-chan, gentle on the hair!"

"Your hair is as stupid as you are," Iwaizumi tells him.

"How rude," Oikawa says, "I remember you told me you liked my hair when I first got it cut."

"Was I drunk?"

Oikawa folds his arms across his chest and pretends to pout, but he's smirking underneath all of that, the smug bastard. "I don't know how you ever managed to seduce anybody into wanting you, Iwa-chan, you're so ill-mannered."

"Well, I managed somehow."

"Hmmph," Oikawa says. With the sun shining down on his ridiculous cheekbones, turning his hair a not-unflattering shade of violet, Iwaizumi is starting to get the beginning of a very interesting headache. "I've been thinking and I want you to be the one to take my virginity."

Iwaizumi whips to attention. " _What._ "

"That's right," Oikawa grins. "While I was lying in my lonely, lonely bed last night I was thinking: what do I want when I pop my cherry? Someone gentle, someone kind, someone with training camp experience — so I guess that's you, Iwa-chan. Not that you're gentle or kind, but two of the three is fine, plus we've already seen each other naked so there's no need to be embarrassed over any of that. I already know your little Iwa-chan isn't that big."

"When we were kids!" Iwaizumi protests. Their moms used to make them take baths together and there are "cute" photos of it, but that's got nothing to do with anything right now. "Like hell I'm taking your virginity!"

His voice carries over the quad.

Oikawa presses a fist to his forehead. "Did you hear that, girls? Iwa-chan doesn't want me! He thinks I'm just dirt!"

The Oikawa fanclub glare at Iwaizumi in unison.

"I'm out of here," Iwaizumi says. "I'm going to a place where things are normal." But he doesn't turn fast enough to miss Oikawa's gleeful smirk, or how Oikawa trots after him, catching up to Iwaizumi easily, the leggy asshole. "What are you doing," Iwaizumi hisses. "Haven't you humiliated me enough for one day?"

"No, I don't think I ever get tired of humiliating you," Oikawa says perfectly honestly. Iwaizumi cracks a laugh. Well, that's true enough. "Anyway, what's so humiliating about sleeping with me? My offer was completely sincere."

"No it wasn't."

"Excuse me! It totally was."

"Whatever," Iwaizumi mutters. "Doesn't matter. I'm not punching your v-card."

"Why not?" Oikawa insists. "Am I an ugly troll or something?"

"Yeah, you're a troll, Trashikawa."

"See," Oikawa says smugly, "that was obviously a lie. You think I'm gorgeous. You think I'm funny. You think I'm talented. So come on—" he flings his arms out "--take me."

"No," says Iwaizumi.

When cajoling doesn't work, Oikawa's next strategy is always to nosedive straight into whining. "What's your problem, Iwa-chan. Why don't you want to have sex with me?"

"Because you're gross and mean," Iwaizumi says. "Who'd want to have sex with someone like you?"

"You're gross and mean too, so that makes us perfect for each other," Oikawa says, dogging him. "Come on, Iwa-chan. Just once. We never have to do it again. Have sex with me."

"No."

"Ravish me."

"No."

"Unfurl my passion flower with your turgid manhood—"

"OIKAWA TOORU!" Iwaizumi shouts, turning red with fury. "YOU ARE THE WORST HUMAN BEING ON THIS PLANET AND MY DICK ISN'T GOING ANYWHERE NEAR YOUR DICK. EVER."

Oikawa is silent for a while. "Okay," he then says, "so what about a blowjob?"

"Argggggh!" Iwaizumi tears at his hair. "Will it get you to leave me alone?"

"Yes," Oikawa says sunnily.

"FINE!"

"Yay!" Oikawa starts skipping down the street. "Iwa-chan is going to have sex with me~ Iwa-chan is going to have sex with me."

Iwaizumi is about two brain cells away from murder, so he grabs Oikawa's wrist and pulls him down the street until they're at his house. He marches Oikawa instead, barely biting a hello to his mother — Oikawa waves at her as Iwaizumi manhandles him up the stairs — before shoving Oikawa into his room and locking the door behind him. He looks at Oikawa for a second, feels another burst of homicidal rage, and kisses him roughly.

Oikawa kisses him back immediately, throwing his arms around Iwaizumi's neck. His lips are full and warm, his tongue quicksilver, and he may be a virgin — _he may be the most annoying person Iwaizumi has ever had the misfortune to meet_ — but he's clearly no stranger to kissing because he has Iwaizumi's head spinning in no time at all, struck by Oikawa's pliant eagerness, by the scrape of his fingernails down the back of Iwaizumi's neck.

This — is not what he expected to happen. If you'd told him that morning that within twelve hours he was going to attend school, go to volleyball practice, and then make out with his best friend until both of them run out of breath, he'd have laughed in your face.

But Oikawa is making tiny breathless noises against Iwaizumi's mouth before pushing Iwaizumi onto the bed and climbing all over him. He takes the opportunity to suck kisses against Iwaizumi's neck, and oh fuck this is so embarrassing, Iwaizumi is turning red with the realization of just what the two of them are doing — what if their _moms_ find out — but then Oikawa looks down at him and smiles.

"You okay?"

"Ugggghhh," Iwaizumi manages, but Oikawa takes that for the affirmation it is and goes right back to sucking Iwaizumi's neck, and then running his teeth and his fingernails against Iwaizumi's sensitive skin. "If you're going to do this, then don't tease."

"What do you mean, Iwa-chan?" Oikawa replies lightly, and though his head is buried against the crook of Iwaizumi's neck, where beads of sweat are gathering, he can feel the curve of Oikawa's smile. "I'm the inexperienced one in all this. If you want something, you're going to have to show me how to do it."

"T-touch me," Iwaizumi says. His dick feels way too full in his suddenly-tight boxer-briefs. He squeezes his eyes shut as Oikawa straddles his hips and shifts experimentally. "Fuck," he breathes, and this must be because this is only the second time anyone's ever been this close to him before, body flush against his — surely that's the only reason why he's reacting so quickly, getting so excited over stupid duck-faced Oikawa, who's he's known all his life. 

Oikawa hums and reaches down into Iwaizumi's pants. He shoves Iwaizumi's already loose track pants down his hips and peels down the boxer-briefs. Iwaizumi feels self-conscious when Oikawa gets an eyeful of him, but Oikawa simply smiles and says, "Can I touch it?"

Iwaizumi turns pink. "Isn't that what we're here for?"

Oikawa laughs low in his throat. "Yeah, that's right." Then he wraps a hand around Iwaizumi's cock and tugs at it gently. Iwaizumi throws his head back and tries to bite down on the groan that's building his throat. It feels _so_ good. Dangerously good. He can't let Oikawa know how good it makes him feel because that would just be too much ammunition, but it's hard to do otherwise when Oikawa starts playing with his cock, thumbing his slit where precome is gathering, curious at first and then more meaningfully. 

"This is what I like, when I'm touching myself," he says softly against Iwaizumi's ear. "I wonder if you'll like it too, Iwa-chan."

"Fuck," Iwaizumi breathes as Oikawa reaches over to his nightstand and finds the bottle of lotion Iwaizumi keeps there. How did Oikawa know? — wait, Oikawa is always snooping around his room, of course he knows. Oikawa squeezes several dollops of lotion over his fingers, and Iwaizumi shivers at the sight because it looks so obscene. Then Oikawa is wrapping his slick, warm hand around Iwaizumi's cock, and Iwaizumi's hips buck, once, twice, way too many times to be the indifferent party he's pretending to act.

Oikawa strokes him deftly, until Iwaizumi is panting and burying his face in the crook of his arm, trying to hide his expression. Oikawa leans forward, says his name. Oikawa's hair is falling over his face and his eyes are bright. "Iwa-chan," he says, "I want to suck your dick."

It's all Iwaizumi can do not to come right then.

"Okay, yeah," he says weakly, "um, sure." Which is a poor imitation of what his body really is saying, which is _yes, yes, yes, you can have me on a silver platter if you like_. He watches as Oikawa uses tissues to wipe up the last of the lotion on his hands and Iwaizumi's cock, and then there's just enough time for Oikawa to flash Iwaizumi a grin before Oikawa opens his mouth wide and — down — he — goes.

Fuck.

 _Fuck_.

 _Oikawa Tooru is sucking my dick_ , Iwaizumi thinks, trying to make sense of it, coming to grips with the reality of a fully-clothed Oikawa between his thighs, on his childhood bed where they've both had sleepovers when they were kids, the bed where they've played space cowboys and aliens, where Oikawa once spilled apple juice. That very bed, and Oikawa Tooru has a mouthful of Iwaizumi's cock.

He's not very good at it. If Iwaizumi is being honest, Ryuuichi was better. Oikawa's careful and hesitant, and also a bit too prone to harrowing near-misses with his teeth. But he's hungry for it, so fucking eager, and Iwaizumi's entire body feels too hot like he's lying under the Mediterranean sun, feeling the heat spread from his cock down to his very toes. Oikawa's mouth is so, so wet, strings of spit linking his tongue to Iwaizumi's cock whenever he pulls back from breath, which is never very long because Oikawa always immediately dives right back in, swallowing Iwaizumi down until Iwaizumi shakes with the effort of not moving.

He wants to — what? Grab Oikawa's hair? Fuck Oikawa's face? He wants to shove himself as deep as he can into that gorgeous, exasperating mouth and ride Oikawa until he spills. But Oikawa is new to this, they both are, and for now he just lies there with his hands gripping his bedsheets, twisting them into pieces, while Oikawa hums and sucks and says, "You feel so big, Iwa-chan."

Iwaizumi glares at him.

Oikawa lifts his head and licks his teeth. "Isn't that what you're supposed to say?"

"I don't care what you're supposed to say," Iwaizumi says. "This isn't a porno. Just — say what you want to say. Don't be anyone else."

Something darts behind Oikawa's eyes. He climbs back down Iwaizumi's body and takes him back into his mouth. Cocksucker is what people say when they're trying to belittle someone at school, but Oikawa's so very good at it that it can't be anything but a compliment. Oikawa grows more confident by the second, and finally Iwaizumi can't do anything but let go, gasping like a fish on land as he squirms, bites down on his lip until it's bloody and says, "I'm gonna — I'm gonna come."

He expects Oikawa to pull away because swallowing come is not exactly Sex 101, but Oikawa doesn't. When Iwaizumi comes, Oikawa drinks him in, running his tongue up and down Iwaizumi's spurting cock. It gets on his face, on his red lips — Iwaizumi groans even louder as he shakes and shakes. Fuck.

"C'mere," he says hoarsely. Oikawa scrambles up the bed without any hesitation, opening his mouth up to Iwaizumi as they kiss, messy and wild. Iwaizumi gets his hand in Oikawa's pants, none too gracefully but Oikawa doesn't complain, and finds him slick and hard. It only takes three clumsy jerks before Oikawa is coming as well, his body shuddering over Iwaizumi's, his eyes squeezed tight, fingers clutching Iwaizumi's shoulders. His come splatters Iwaizumi's t-shirt and higher — he comes so hard that a squirt of it hits Iwaizumi's chin.

They lie there for a while after, panting. The sweat sticks them together in a way that's really not comfortable at all, but Oikawa makes no effort to move, so finally Iwaizumi is forced to groan and roll him off. He tugs off his dirty t-shirt, and then goes and grabs some tissues, returning to wipe Oikawa's face gently. Oikawa smiles at him, sleepy. "You have some too," he gestures, "here, let me."

"Well," Iwaizumi says after a while. He has no idea what else to say. "So, uh--"

Oikawa stretches out on his bed lazily. His shirt rides up to reveal the muscles of his chest. "Not bad, Iwa-chan. You should set up a service. Deflowering virgins by request. I'd give you a reference."

"That's vulgar," Iwaizumi says, climbing back into bed with him.

"Your face is vulgar," Oikawa yawns. "You know, tomorrow we should try anal sex."

"Shut up and go to sleep," Iwaizumi says. 

"Idiot, I already am," Oikawa says, curling up beside him.

:::

In the middle of the night Iwaizumi gets a text. He can hear his phone buzz but he's too sleepy and comfortable to roll over and check it. Instead, he feels Oikawa groan and flop over him, grabbing Iwaizumi's phone off the nightstand.

"Hey that's mine, don't touch," Iwaizumi objects. He can see the harsh grey light of his cell phone screen fill the room as Oikawa unlocks it — because of course Oikawa knows the passcode, Oikawa knows everything about him by this point, it's pointless. Oikawa starts typing and then he grins and shows Iwaizumi.

The text is from Ryuuichi. `sure when do u wanna skype?`

Oikawa's reply is `sorry i'm taken, better luck next time nyaaaaaa~`

"You can't just do that," Iwaizumi mutters, though he doesn't actually mind all that much. Oikawa settles back beside him.

"I just did," he says. "What are you going to do about it, Iwa-chan?"

"I'll figure something out. In the morning."

"In the morning," Oikawa agrees, burying his nose in Iwaizumi's sweaty hair. "I'll be ready."


End file.
